Well, I guess I didn't win the Parenting.com Essay contest. That is a bummer, but I said I would share it. Above is the picture that had to be included with the entry and below is the actual essay...Enjoy!
Motherhood Means a Lifetime of Learning
“Where is the manual for this child?” I asked myself as my four-week-old son fussed. I wasn’t sure what he needed. I ran through the sticky notes in my head: fed, check; diapered, check; napped, check. I wanted a manual.
This new occupation was much more challenging to me than the old one. I always had the control and security of manuals, tables, and reference sheets in my old job as an applications engineer. Being a Stay-At-Home Mother had much more chaos and insecurity. I had a whole new medium to work with and no manuals to be found. I had books to guide me, but I quickly found that my child did not meet all of the specifications in any of the books out there.
The months went by and he smiled, laughed, rolled, but he still fussed. I was not confident what the trouble was. I never really figured out his different cries, but at a point things started to gel. We got into a flow of what his needs were. He cried a bit less. I would like to say that I stopped wondering about a mythical manual or secret recipe for overcoming the strife of being a mother, but I did not. I started to really realize that the only manual for my son resided in me and my confidence in knowing him.
He is now fifteen months old. His manual is approximately 10,526 pages long and is on its 592nd revision. The difference now is I have the confidence to make those revisions. I find joy in revising the manual: the inexpressible love of my son, my new and ever-changing subject.
Candice Forte, Oklahoma
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